A gigolo? Did I drive you to this kind of lifestyle?	What're you starting with me for?! You know this is my crazy time of year!
Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell.	I'm speechless. I have no speech.
We don't know how long this will last! They are a very festive people!	I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian.
I propose... AN ALLIANCE!	I'm like the Phoenix, rising from Arizona.
Why don't you just get a pair of white shoes, move down to Miami Beach and get this whole thing over with?	Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia?
So, the dentist gave me too much anesthesia, I walk out of there, and this rich guy I shared a cab with offered to throw a gala in my honor.	I don't know if it's possible, but could you people conduct the psychopath convention down the hall?
Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool.	Let me tell you something. A man without hand is not a man. I've got so much hand I'm coming out of my gloves.
Whew. You know, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would've said you're crazy... Now let's push this big ball of oil out the window.	You're just mad because you're having a bad day.
You can't cast aspersions on someone just because they're wearing a cape. Superman wore a cape! And I'll be damned if I stand by and let you say anything bad about him!	This place is like Studio 54, with a menorah.
Yeah, you better give me the insurance. Because I'm gonna beat the hell out of this car!	You're becoming one of the glitterati.
Hey, boys. Here you go. It's celebration time.	I'm not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Cinnamon! It should be on tables in restaurants along with salt and pepper! Anytime someone says, "Ooh, this is so good -- what's in this?" the answer invariably comes back, "cinnamon." Cinnamon! Again and again!	A hot bowl of mulligatawny would hit the spot.
I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.	The bus is outta control! So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I'm driving the bus!
This isn't a good time.	Ah, you're crazy.
I don't trust the guy! I think he regifted, then he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Superbowl sex romp!	You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.
He turned and gave me this look.	Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant.
They're trying to screw with your head.	Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries?
Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell.	Up here, I'm already gone.
What do you think put me there? Serenity now... insanity later.	May I have one of those, madame?
Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty!	You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
If you're not gonna be a part of a civil society, then just get in your car and drive on over to the East Side.	What are you saying?
You know what, I'm gonna do it.	I'm gonna convert to Latvian Orthodox, just to be with her.
That's it! I'm exactly like Henry the VIII.	No, you're not because I'm out there and if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in the universe to electroshock me back into coherence.
Are you sure you want to get married? I mean, it's a big change of life.	Now shut your mouths or else I'll shut them for you and if you think I'm kidding, just try me! Try me! Because I would LOVE IT!
So I tell her, 'I think I should leave now'. And she looks at me surprised as if she couldn't understand what had just happened and why I was leaving. ... The only excuse that I could fathom would be acceptable is to tell her that I am indeed Batman, and I'm sorry I just saw that Bat signal out the window.	Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats!