Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.
--James Thurber		 I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
--Douglas Adams
Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.
--Chinese Proverb		 The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
--Don Marquis
There was green alligators and long-necked geese, Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees. Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born, The loveliest of all was the unicorn.
--Shel Silverstein		 There's no business like show business.
--Irving Berlin
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
--George Bernard Shaw		 What may be done at any time will be done at no time
--Scottish Proverb
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
--Irish Proverb		 Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened.
--Stanley Walker
I'm watching you watching him watching me...... There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
--Doctor Who
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
--George Santayana		 What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
--Dave Barry
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
--Oscar Wilde		 Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.
--George Washington
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
--Paul Beatty 		Lord, what fools these mortals be!
--William Shakespeare
Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.
--Cato the Elder		 Life is a zoo in a jungle.
--Peter De Vries
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
--Robert Benchley		 When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
--Japanese Proverb
Women should be obscene and not heard.
--Groucho Marx		 Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
--Alan Corenk
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
--Dame Edna Everage		 We are all born mad. Some remain so
--Samuel Beckett
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde		 If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
--Dean Martin
In a mad world only the mad are sane.
--Akira Kurosawa		 Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
--John Benfield
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
--Charlie McCarthy